A papercut, hangnail, scrape on the knee – all common events in the lives of children. But for gifted kids these experiences can feel like the worst pain anyone has ever experienced. If you’ve ever watched your child collapse into tears after a seemingly minor injury, or become deeply upset over a seemingly small discomfort, you’re not imagining things – and neither are they.

Gifted children often experience the world, including physical and emotional pain, in ways that are more intense and complex than their neurotypical peers. It’s easy to be frustrated and dismissive, but understanding how and why they feel this way can be important to handling these situations.

I’ve written before about overexcitabilities: heightened sensitivities in areas such as intellect, imagination, emotion, and the senses. For some gifted children, this sensory intensity means they literally feel pain more acutely. What might be a light pinch or a scratch to one child may register as a genuine sting or burning sensation to another. This is not dramatization or exaggeration. Research in neuroscience shows that children with heightened sensitivity can have stronger neurological responses to sensory input. Their brains may process touch, sound, and other stimuli more deeply or more quickly, leading to amplified reactions.

Parents may worry that a gifted child’s big response to pain is an overreaction or anxiety, or that they’re being immature. In actuality, it’s a reflection of their neurological and emotional wiring. These reactions are normal for them, and invalidating their feelings can make them feel misunderstood or ashamed of who they are.

When your child is hurt either physically or emotionally, your calm empathy is the best tool you have.

Instead of: “That’s nothing. You’re fine.”

Try: “That must really hurt. Tell me what it feels like.”

Asking them to describe the sensation (“Does it sting? Feel tight? Scary?”) not only helps them process the experience but also shows you take it seriously. From there:

• Address physical pain with simple comfort measures: a cold pack, a gentle wash, a fun bandage.
• Soothe emotional pain with steady, predictable reassurance:
  • “It’s okay to feel upset.”
  • “Take two deep breaths; your body will start to feel better.”
  • “This won’t hurt forever.”

Repeating the same comforting phrases helps build internal coping scripts they can eventually use on their own.

Gifted children’s heightened perception is both a gift and a challenge. They may hurt more deeply—but they also love, imagine, and empathize more deeply. Their sensitivity allows them to experience life in vivid, meaningful ways.

By validating their experiences and teaching gentle coping skills, we show them that feeling deeply isn’t a weakness but part of their extraordinary strength.